Our Wretched Souls
by STRAYDOG92
Summary: GinxOC. Post-Winter war. Gin's still alive and a captain. Sasha committed a crime fifty years ago that she can't seem to atone for. Can these two almost-traitors get their lives back on track? Or will their sins tear them apart?
1. How She Feels

"Why are we going to the soul society again?" I grumped, hands on my hips as I watched Yoruichi walk around the room. "I want to stay here." Sitting down on the bed, I crossed my arms and summoned up a good pout. "Besides, no one likes me," I bemoaned. "But here I can clean up after Urahara and sweep the store. It's my life's calling-really," I promised as Yoruichi glanced at me.

"If I remember, you used to love the soul society and never even wanted to set foot here," the woman murmured in a low voice as she folded a shirt and put it in a drawer.

"Yeah, well that was before everyone hated me," I replied sweetly. "Shockingly, other soul reapers that tell you to never come back or you'll be killed makes you not like a place so much."

"It's been fifty years," the woman sighed. "That's how long you were exiled. I've already received a call from your grandfather wanting to know when you're coming back-"

"-Tell him never," I interjected in a mutter, but Yoruichi's glare quieted me.

"And you know that there's been a rash of deaths of lower soul reapers. More are needed. Stronger soul reapers." She was looking at me pointedly, but I just swung my legs back and forth, my feet barely brushing the floor from her high bed.

"They don't want me back," I sighed, jumping off the bed. "And I'm almost seventy now. I'm not a child, I can make my own decisions-" Before I could leave the room Yoruichi was in front of me, arms crossed. I cut my gaze to the side, not looking at her face.

"What happened to the girl who wanted to make up for what she'd done?" the woman demanded. "The girl who begged me to help her become strong so that when the day came she went back to the soul society she could protect her friends?"

"Former friends," I pointed out. "And what happened to her?" I tapped my face, touching the scar that ran from my jaw down my neck. "I think around the time she got this scar, she started seeing the world for what it really was. A shitty place where everyone just has to do their best."

"You're a soul reaper," she reminded me, still blocking my way. "You took a vow-"

"-Broke that a long time ago too," I reminded her. "And you're a soul reaper as well. Where have you been?" innocently.

The former captain heaved a great sigh. "I won't make you stay," she promised, putting a hand on my shoulder. "But I will make you go back to report to the head captain." I threw her a look but she frowned. "He's your great grandfather, Hiroyuki Yamamoto, and I will not bear his wrath because you wouldn't go back-"

"-No one even wants me there," I growled, finally ducking past her. "Face it, no one ever called, and no one ever asked how I was," I glanced at her. "Hiroyuki Yamamoto died fifty years ago in a terrible mistake that killed sixteen other soul reapers," I said with numb lips. "And you know I hate it when you call me that."

"Sometimes I do it just for that reason," Yoruichi informed me as I walked down the hallway. "Be ready to leave in twenty minutes, Sasha!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just know that if a random gate into hueco mundo opens and you can't find me, I'm probably dead. Don't bothering looking," I called back. Now I needed to find Kisuke Urahara and make that a reality. I would much rather go down to that world than back to the soul society.

From my room I grabbed my zanpakuto, hiremekinu, and continued down the hallway. I wasn't going back to the soul society. Surely he could send me…somewhere.

"Hey Kisuke!" I yelled loudly, walking into the main shop. I could sense the man in there and knew he was probably doing nothing. "I need you to send me to-"

"-No," he replied before I could finish. "I'm not opening a gate to hueco mundo. Or the underworld. And no, I'm not distracting her so you can run away."

I glared at him flatly. "Why not?" I finally moaned. "It'll be great! I'll go kill some hollows and never come back! It'll be fine."

"You'd really rather go there then back home?" Urahara laughed, glancing at me. "Well, I see your point. You're not the only one who was exiled."

"Yeah," I grunted. "But I don't see you having to go report in after fifty years."

"SASHA!" yelled a voice from down the hall, making me flinch. "I said get ready! It's time to leave!" she walked into the room, hands on her hips. "Where are your shoes?" she asked. "And why aren't you wearing a standard shihakusho and hakama?"

After rolling my eyes, I growled. "Because, mom, I don't like the normal uniform, I just like wearing this long…ish shihakusho. And my shoes are in my bedroom." In fact I hadn't worn the standard soul reaper uniform in years. Now I just wore a thigh length shihakusho with a red sash wrapped around my waist and tied in a bow on my lower back. Under the shihakusho I wore black shorts and I also wore knee high black boots instead of sandals.

"Then shouldn't you be going to get them?" the former captain asked dangerously, in a way that had me scurrying down the hallway and grabbing my boots from my room. I yanked them on as I walked back down the hallway, grabbing my hood from the hallway that I'd asked Urahara for just for this day. It was hooded to hide my face and hid my spiritual pressure. Not that anyone would probably recognize me. It had been fifty years and my spiritual powers had changed immensely.

"I'm ready to go," I muttered, pulling the hooded scarf around my shoulders and tying it before pulling the hood up and over my face. It fell to the ground behind me like a black silk cloud.

Urahara put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. "No worries, Sasha," he sang. "You'll probably be back here before the day's out."

"You think?" I asked hopefully, biting my lip and touching the hilt of my zanpakuto at my back.

"Yeah. It'll be fine," he promised, tapping my shoulder as a senkaimon opened in the air in front of him.

"I hope you're right," I murmured, glancing at him one more time before following Yoruichi through the gate.

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Short chapter, I know. Sorry. The next ones will be a lot longer. Reviews are love to me, and I would love ideas or constructive criticism. Also, I take ideas for anything, so hit me up?


	2. The darkening sun

A crime is a crime, no matter if it was meant or not. Even for a young girl who'd just become a soul reaper, there was no reprieve from the law.

I'd only been nineteen at the time. I'd graduated the soul reaper academy a year before, and I had been considered a prodigy. I had the only gravity zanpakuto in centuries, and hiramekinu was greatly powerful. It wasn't his fault that we'd been kicked out of the soul society.

I'd been in squad thirteen, with Ukitake as my captain. After a year I'd proven myself capable and I was fifth seat. Surely, it was something for others to be jealous of. But everyone knew I couldn't control my power well. I had a temper and when I got emotional my powers got unstable. Terrible deal, altogether.

On a mission in the world of the living, I'd lost it one day. I was hurt but I thought I could take care of the hollow. I even shoved our fourth seat out of the way, proclaiming that I didn't need any help. I'd been working on a technique that wasn't perfected, and I thought it couldn't go wrong.

Well, I'd been terribly mistaken. My gravity sphere had gone out of control and destroyed every hollow in the area. Not to mention twenty living humans and sixteen soul reapers, including our fourth seat. I'd been put on trial and been banished. My soul reaper powers had been stripped of me, but Urahara had gotten them back. So far, no one knew. No one knew I'd been training for the last fifty years with Kisuke Urahara and Yoruichi Shihoin. Everyone assumed I'd been living a human life, I supposed.

Heaving a sigh, I slowed my steps, a frown on my lips. "We can still turn back," I offered weakly, looking up at Yoruichi with a plea in my grey eyes. "You can tell Yamamoto you couldn't find me, or I'm dead. I won't mind taking the blame."

"The soul reapers are getting suspicious, Sasha," Yoruichi reminded me. "One of them saw you a few months ago, and reported in that they'd seen an unknown soul reaper. I think the head captain has had his suspicions, and if you keep skipping out on this, he won't be so kind as to extend a request next time."

I sighed, reaching up to play with the rook piercing in my left ear. "I could find a nice secluded mountain somewhere," I suggested to myself, staring at Yoruichi's back. "A nice mountain to live out my days and hunt mice. I don't mind living as a cat, honest," I promised myself.

"You're making me regret teaching you that," Yoruichi murmured, just as a light appeared in front of us. I stopped, trembling in trepidation, but the older soul reaper grabbed my arm and pulled me through.

Stumbling, I pulled my hood lower over my face, looking at the ground. I was good at hiding my spiritual pressure, so I squashed it even further, glaring at the white ground.

"Yoruichi Shihoin!" I heard someone announce. "You are permitted to be here, along with this….human?" I heard someone ask. Mutters broke out. No one seemed to know who I was. That was lucky.

"She's been requested by the head captain," Yoruichi spoke up, grabbing my arm in an iron grip to prevent me from running. I couldn't believe Yoruichi actually wanted me to help out here again. No one wanted me back.

"Oh. That is fine then," one of the guards replied. "But might we know who she is?" he walked closer to me and I backed up, standing behind Yoruichi. "At least her name so we can report it?

"Of course," Yoruich replied easily. "Her name is Sasha Youma."

"I see." They still had no idea or I'd be getting chased with pitchforks already. Flaming pitchforks with my luck. "Please, go on ahead."

"I don't want to be here," I groaned as we walked away from the guards. I refused to look up, only seeing Yoruichi's booted feet in front of me. "Can't you just go and report and I go home?"

"Are you a coward, Sasha?" the woman questioned, though she didn't slow down.

"Yes. I am absolutely a coward," I replied dourly. Sometimes that worked to tick me off, but not now. "I'm a lowly coward who isn't fit to be anywhere near here. Can I go now?"

"No. And I refuse to let you say you're a coward when that is not what you are. Do not dishonor me-"

"-Oh not this speech," I sighed. "You know that hasn't worked on me in twenty years."

"Sometimes I just hope it will. I could threaten you with shop cleaning duty for the next year, but I suppose you'd jump at the chance just for a way to get out of here."

"You would be correct," I murmured, touching my finger to my scar and running my finger down the smooth skin. I did it sometimes, when I was upset or nervous. That wasn't the only scar I'd obtained in the world of the living. I also had marks on my left hip from a cero shot from a menos grande. The wounds had been too far healed and I'd decided just to let them scar than have Tessai reopen the wounds. I also had a crescent shaped mark above my right eyebrow, and of course the main one that ran from close to my right ear down to almost my collarbone.

Finally we stood outside a door with the symbol for squad one on it. I backed up and Yoruichi turned to look at me. "Will you please just see if you can report in and be done with it?" I begged, my heart hammering in my chest. I looked up, meeting her gaze. "Please."

Finally she nodded, a soft frown on her face. "I'll do my best, Sasha," she promised before opening the door and walking in.

I backed up and stood there, shoulders hunched as I stared at the ground. I was perfecrtly fine to wait here and-

"Well I wonder who you could be?" a voice drawled from behind me, making me jump and flinch away. I stared at the ground, looking at the person's shadow. I was bad at gently touching spiritual pressure, and I knew if I tried to figure who this was by touching his spiritual pressure he would experience it as if I were feeling him up with my spiritual pressure. At least I knew it was a guy, and I could feel that their power was immense. "I heard from the guards that Yoruichi Shihoin had brought back a mystery girl with no spiritual pressure but with a sword at her back. I had to see for myself who had come to visit our humble sereitei. Tell me, what's your name little girl?" I saw him reaching forward toward my hood and I stepped back, not speaking and looking at the ground.

"Oh, what are you afraid of?" he pouted, and I was beginning to get a good idea of who it was. "I'm not gonna hurt ya. I just want to know who I'm talking to." He reached for my hood again but I was faster, grabbing his hand and twisting away from him.

"Leave me alone," I finally murmured, walking backward and sidestepping him. It was hard to stay away from him while looking at the ground.

"So she speaks!" he commended, clapping his hands. "Very good, little princess. Now how about you tell me your name? I won't bite…hard."

I wanted to kick him. In fact, I knew exactly who was talking to me. Gin Ichimaru. Second greatest hero of the arrancar war. He'd taken the hogyoku from Aizen and been saved by Rangiku after being struck down. Then he'd been pardoned and gotten back his captain seat. He annoyed the hell out of me. I'd always been afraid of him, and tried to stay away from him.

"If you tell me who you are, I'll leave you alone," he sang, dancing toward me. "I promise. I'll just say hi to you properly, introduce myself-oh. I haven't introduced myself yet either. How rude of me. I'm-"

"-I know who you are," I growled, nervously touching my sword. "I don't need an introduction."

"Well it seems I'm in the dark then," he chortled. "And that's very unfair, you know. I just want to know who-" the door opening interrupted him, and at that moment he pushed the hood back from my head, exposing my face and my spiritual pressure. "You are…" he finished, eyes opening and meeting mine. "No. Surely-"I pulled my hood back on, taking a step back and hiding my spiritual pressure once again. He was still staring at me, amused. "Surely not," he continued. "Hiroyuki-"

"-Sasha," Yoruichi called from behind me. "Come. Now."

I glared at Captain Ichimaru a moment before turning and following Yoruichi inside. Now I wanted to go in, if only to get away from the fox outside.

"So," a loud voice thundered, making me wince. "Take off that hood. I know who you are. You can't hide from me, Hiroyuki Yamamoto."

Taking a breath, I pushed my hood back and looked up at the old captain. "That's not my name…anymore," I murmured, pushing my hair back. "I'm sorry. But I haven't gone by that name in-"

"-Fifty years, I assume," he broke in. "And so I've heard. Sasha Youma. That is how you try to hide yourself and your transgressions." I shifted, looking at Yoruichi before staring hard at the floor. "I thought I stripped you of your spiritual powers," he remarked. "But apparently Yoruichi Shihoin found it right to return them to you without my permission-"

"-I'll just go back," I murmured, shrinking under his gaze and not meeting his eyes. "I don't-I don't want to be here. I know I shouldn't be here, and no one wants me here. So I just want to go home. Back to the world of the living, that is."

"Go back?" he asked, sounding a bit surprised. "Would you truly pick going back to the world of the living, even if I stripped you once again of your powers?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "I would much rather go back then be here."

"You would suffer a mortal life, and die a human rather than face the consequences of your actions that still lie here," the captain clarified.

"Well when you put it that way….yeah. Any day of the week." I stepped behind Yoruichi, using her as a shield.

"This is not my battle," she murmured, pushing my forward. I looked at her for help but she stayed impassive.

"It's true, no one knows what became of you," Yamamoto began. "And everyone believes you dead or old in human years. But I have known for a few months now that that is not the case. And it is not my intention that you go back to the human world. I would have you serve under a new captain, as a seated officer once again."

That was shocking. I looked up at him, eyes wide. "But-I can't," I said, startled. "I think we both know that's not a great idea. Umm. You remember what happened last time-"

"-Everyone remembers the tragedy and dishonor you brought upon us," Yamamoto promised. "And I promise you that some still bear a grudge toward you. But you were not meant to die a human, or live as an outcast. I told you fifty years ago that in fifty more years I would reevaluate your punishment. I have. For the next thousand years you will serve as a soul reaper in squad three."

There were so many parts of that statement that were so wrong. One thousand years? SQUAD THREE? My mind flashed to that….man outside. That was why he'd been there. I couldn't. But this was part of my punishment apparently. I couldn't argue with it. If I did I'd probably be strung up on Sokyoku hill the day after tomorrow.

I measured my words carefully, playing with the rope bracelet on my right wrist. "I accept the punishment as consequences for my crimes," I finally murmured, wishing I could just go home to Urahara's shop. "And I will do my best to recompense for what I did."

"Good. I believe your new captain is waiting for you outside. You will report directly to him." I knew a dismissal when I heard it. I glanced at Yoruichi, who looked ruffled, and hunched my shoulders, walking back to the other end of the room. I pulled my hood back up over my face and pushed the door open, slipping out and closing it behind me.

"Don't tell me I'm your new captain," Ichimaru continued, as if we were in the middle of a conversation. I only sighed, staring at the doors. "Hello? Hiroyuki-"

"-Sasha," I interrupted, glancing at him with sad eyes. "It's Sasha Youma. And yeah. You're my new captain."

"I'm surprised. I'm here to receive my new third seat," Ichimaru admitted. "I guess that's you. But I seem to remember something bad happening the last time someone made you a seated officer." He was obviously looking for a rise out of me. I only let out a sigh and sat down against the wall, burying my head in my hands.

"Aww, cheer up, Sasha-chan," Ichimaru chirped, sitting down beside me and patting my head condescendingly. "I'll keep ya on the straight and narrow."

"I hate you," I informed him, not looking up. "I absolutely hate you, know that Ichimaru?" I asked, glaring at him.

"Captain Ichimaru, if you please," he chuckled, stretching out his legs but still sitting beside me. "After all, I'm going to be your new captain. We'll have to start training immediately," he mused out loud. "And the men are going to be confused. Well, not that there are too many soul reapers in my squad anymore."

Looking up at him, I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "Why's that?" I asked curiously. "Are you only accepting the best now, o hero?" I was only half joking.

The silver haired man sighed, looking up at the sky. "Exactly, Sasha-chan," he murmured. "That's exactly the reason." He stopped when the door opened and Yoruichi stepped out. Immediately I jumped to my feet, eyes widening.

"Please tell me you got him to change his mind," I said quickly, walking away from Gin Ichimaru.

She shook her head, frowning. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I really didn't know he'd want to keep you here. But you'll be fine. I know you'll be fine." She put a hand on my shoulder, still frowning. "Just don't let people walk all over you," she advised. "You made a mistake. That's all. You've been exiled for fifty years and you've done your best to atone for your mistakes." She pulled my hooded scarf off of my shoulders and my spiritual pressure was let loose. Now everyone knew I was here. Hopefully not many people recognized my spiritual pressure.

"Can't you stay or something?" I whined futilely, walking after her as she started to leave. "Or at least do me the favor slitting my throat now," I intoned quietly.

Yoruichi rolled her eyes and frowned. "I'll be back to bring your things. And I won't abandon you. If anything happens you can call me. You'll be fine, just don't lose control." She smiled at me before disappearing in a flash step. I stared after her, contemplating an escape back to the world of the living. I could dodge soul reapers for the next odd three thousand years.

"So I should hide all soul reapers who might try to get in front of you in the line of duty?" Ichimaru asked innocently, getting to his feet. "Or should I just warn them all off by hanging a sign around your neck?"


	3. These Blind Accusations

My neck was sore. Well, more likely my neck was tense, just like the rest of my body. I had followed Gin Ichimaru to the squad three barracks and had seen the room that was given to the third seat. So far all I had was the futon on the floor, a small dresser, and a table in one corner.

I was sitting on the table with my legs tucked under me. It was the morning after I'd arrived and I didn't know what to do. With a sigh I pulled my zanpakuto from my waist and held it in my hands in front of me, trying to relax my muscles. Almost immediately a large black wolf-dog appeared in my mind's eye.

'_Why do you sit here in self pity?' _Hiramekinu asked, sitting in front of me and looking irritable. Of course, these days he always looked irritable.

"It's not self pity," I muttered to him, frowning. "It's trepidation. Or have you not realized where we are yet?"

'_I realized it the moment you touched the ground on this side of the senkaimon,'_ the dog replied, rolling his yellow eyes. _'Why did you not sleep this previous night? Did you think I would not wake you if you were in danger?'_

I scoffed. "Why do you have to argue with me?" I snapped. "Or is it that you just find everything I do distasteful?" I heard something and looked up at the huge black dog. "Did you say something?" I asked.

He shook his head. _'No. It is outside of this inner world. You should go.'_ Hiramekinu blinked and disappeared in a shower of black glitter.

I opened my eyes and gasped, falling back into the wall when I saw a thin face smirking at me. "What's wrong, Sasha-chan?" Gin Ichimaru chirped, hands behind his back. "It's not like I was hiding from you."

"I was arguing with my sword," I growled, sidling around him and getting to my feet. "Is it time to do things already?" I yawned quietly, pulling both of my boots on quickly.

"You were arguing?" Ichimaru followed me out the door. "What about? How long it'll take you to get thrown out of the soul society again?"

My shoulders slumped and I felt a burning in my eyes. Instead of answering him I walked away, going in the direction of Izuru Kira's spiritual pressure. As I walked I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut, trying hard not to let any tears spill from my eyes. I would not cry. I would not cry. I would not-

My face collided with something and I yelped, opening my eyes. Lieutenant Kira stood in front of me, blinking. "You're the new third seat, correct?" he asked, obviously not recognizing me. "Well we should get ready to….are you crying?" he asked, tipping his head to the side.

"No," I snapped, wiping my forearm across my face. "My eyes were simply watering involuntarily. Do you have something for me to do?"

He blinked. "Well I was just going to report to Captain Ichimaru for my assignment," Izuru admitted. "I thought you would be doing the same."

Glaring at the ground, I sidestepped. "I already checked," I lied. "He told me to report to you." No way was I going back to get insulted again.

"Oh really? Hmm. We've never done it that way before. But I don't doubt what you say. If you'll wait here I'll go see what he wants of us. By the way, you look familiar. Have we ever met before?"

There was no use hiding it. People were going to find out eventually. "No," I sighed. "I don't think we've met. But you probably know me. Fifty years ago I was exiled. My real name is Hiroyuki Yamamoto. Ring any bells?" I asked sourly.

His mouth fell open and his eyes widened. "You?" he whispered. "That's a joke, right? She was stripped of her powers and sent to the world of the living-there's no way-"

"-Wrong," I said, blinking. "Here I am. You can call me Sasha and I promise I'll try really hard not to make you my next victim." I gave him a wan grin with absolutely no humor in it.

Still he stared at me, as if putting things together. Then his mouth closed and he frowned. "You're not going to have an easy time being back," he finally assumed, meeting my gaze levelly.

That shocked me. There was no screaming, no accusations. Just that. "I know," I replied. "Trust me, I didn't want to come back. I wanted to stay gone. I get it. No one wants me here."

Izuru put a hand on my shoulder, giving me a small look of encouragement. "Don't be so down on yourself," he advised. "Sure, most people thought you got what you deserved, but not everyone was on the head captain's side. And besides, you were apparently put in the right squad. Did you know we're labeled the traitors?"

"Why?" That confused me. "Your captain is a hero. He is only second to Ichigo Kurosaki."

Izuru snorted. "Not everyone sees it that way. Haven't you wondered why there aren't many members in this squad compared to the other twelve? It's not because we have higher standards. It's because few people want to serve under the man who helped orchestrate the killing of soul reapers and turned traitor with Aizen."

What? My mind flashed back to the day before, when I had been talking to Ichimaru. I had made the joke that he was captain of the hero brigade, but the real reason there were few members was because no one liked or respected him? "That can't be right," I denied. "He's a hero."

"You're one of the few who thinks so, then," Izuru snorted. "Look, I doubt anyone has said this yet, but welcome back. And I'll go talk to the captain and see what we need to do. You can trust me, Sasha. I don't hold you responsible for an accident that happened fifty years ago." He walked past me, toward the captain's office.

I stared at him, completely shocked. Someone remembered me and didn't hate me. How unexpected. I fingered the purple hilt of my zanpakuto, looking at the floor finally. Now I could kind of understand why the captain was teasing me. After all, I'd done the exact same thing to him by making fun of the fact that he led the 'hero brigade.' He was probably pretty pissed at me. I'd been tactless, but I hadn't known.

'_You should feel fantastic about yourself,'_ Hiramekinu remarked.

"Shut up," I snapped. "I wish you'd leave me alone sometimes, you know that?" Shockingly, I didn't get a reply. Still I wasn't too happy about the stuff Ichimaru had said. He didn't have to be so mean. But I was pouting.

Puffing out my cheeks I counted to ten in my head and followed Izuru's path toward the captain's office. I should probably go apologize and face him like an adult.

Before I could knock on the sliding screen, however, Izuru opened it and looked at me, surprised. "Are you okay?" he asked, stepping outside the screen. "I have Ichimaru's orders for your duties. You're to go help the squad members train."

"Okay," I murmured. "But umm, I need to speak to the captain really quickly." I sidestepped the lieutenant and he walked past me, giving me a quick look. "I'll get right out to the training room," I promised, giving him a quick smile.

Izuru just nodded and walked away. I waited for a moment before walking through the open door and standing there, fidgeting.

"Did you want something, third seat Youma?" Ichimaru asked, looking down at a paper that he appeared to be reading.

"Yes. Actually. I wanted to apologize," I mumbled, glaring at the floor. "About-"

"-You can go," he said, sighing and signing the document. I just stood there, looking at him finally. "Did I stutter?" he asked. "I said you could go."

So I went. I turned quickly and left the room, sliding the door closed behind me. I ran my fingers through my long, platinum blonde hair. It hung down to the middle of my back in a straight line. Obviously he wanted nothing to do with me, so I would respect that. I walked away, toward where I figured the training room was. It was where I could feel the largest concentration of spiritual energy relatively close.

Sure enough, I found it easily and walked in, looking around at the thirty-odd people in the room. Was this it? The room was huge and could easily fit sixty people, but there were only half that many.

"Are you the new third seat?" a woman called, hands on her hips. "Because we've been waiting. Our lieutenant said to wait for you. You're late." Well she was a prospective friend for sure.

"Yes," I answered quietly, then louder, "I'm Sasha Youma, new third seat of squad three. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but if you all would like to pair up and get started, that would be fine."

The men and few women looked at me for a few seconds before mumbling and doing just that. Except for the woman who had spoke before. "There are twenty-nine of us," she informed me quickly, eyes glittering. "So I guess I'll work out with you."

She sounded so thrilled about it. More like she wanted to challenge me, to see if I really was worthy of being a third seat. It bothered me a little, because I didn't want to get in a genuine fight with anyone. "Okay," I mumbled, tucking my hair behind my ear. I got two wooden practice swords and tossed one to her, which she caught. Before I could say anything else she charged me, making the other people stop and watch. This wasn't what I had meant when I had said train. I had thought about practice blocks, techniques, and swings. This woman really wanted a fight.

Easily I blocked her blow, letting out a slow breath. It had become a ritual over the years to keep myself from getting worked up. When I got worked up I got out of control, and that was when bad things happened. I had to stay emotionally detached. Again she swung her sword at me, and I blocked it again, then again.

"Fight back!" the woman howled, smacking her sword against mine. We had moved to the middle of the room and everyone else was standing against the walls, watching. Some had begun muttering disapprovingly, while others were cheering their squad mate on.

I didn't reply. I only took a deep breath and blinked, rotating the wooden sword so that it didn't hit my side. But I had gotten too cocky. She quickly reversed the blow and smacked the sword against my face, knocking my head to the side. That was what I got for not taking this fight seriously.

Some people gasped as I touched my hand to my face and came away with blood. I'd bitten my lip and blood was running down my chin. "You're not paying attention!" the woman snarled, turning the sword and again trying to hit me. My control slipped and I caught the sword in my hand, just as my spiritual pressure spiked.

"I think that's enough," I muttered, touching my hand to my mouth again. "I didn't come here for-"

"-I know who you are!" the woman gasped, jerking back and letting go of the wooden practice sword. "You're that girl from fifty years ago! The bitch who killed Dakine!"

Shit. Here we went. It had to happen sooner or later. The woman was looking around at her companions, but none of them seemed to want to fight with me as well. "She's the bitch who killed our seventh seat when I was in the thirteenth division!" the woman howled angrily, pointing at me. "And I refuse to let this-this slut be our third seat! I won't take orders from her again!" quickly she pulled her zanpakuto from its sheath and charged me, swinging at me in earnest.

I tossed both the practice swords down and frowned; now actually focusing on the fight. I didn't want to end up in the fourth division infirmary because I'd been careless.

"Draw your sword!" she yelled, sweeping her sword at me. I dodged it easily, dancing sideways and out of her range. I wasn't going to use Hiramekinu. No way.

"I get it, you hate me," I stated, quickly dodging another blow. "And I'm sorry about Dakine. But it's been fifty years and I-"

"-You're still the same, bitch!" she snarled, lunging at me. I easily pushed her on, using her momentum to send her to the floor. She hit her face on the wood and her spiritual pressure arced. She was pissed. The woman stood up, holding her sword in front of her. "Kill, Tensamaru!" she yelled, and her sword lengthened to a longer broadsword.

"Oh great," I muttered. This would be harder to dodge. My heart was beating in my chest, but I wouldn't let myself freak out. Sure, it had been fifty years since I'd fought another actual soul reaper, but she wasn't nearly at Yoruichi's level. I knew that. So in theory I could just dodge her until she got tired or until I figured out something to do. "Do you really have to do this?" I asked, circling her. "I know what I did was unforgivable, but can't you just yell at me? I really don't want to hurt you on accident."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. "Hurt me?" she spat. "Like you hurt Dakine?" Maybe she'd had a thing for him. Honestly I barely remembered the guy. "I'll kill you, bitch!" she suddenly disappeared in a flash step, but it was a slow flash step that I anticipated. Before she could hit me I dodged her and kicked her in the back, causing her to stumble forward.

"Please just stop," I besought her, frowning. Every time she came at me my hand itched to go for my sword. It would take me half a second to teach this girl her place. But no. I wouldn't let myself do that. Hiramekinu seemed to agree, because his presence darkened. He didn't want anything to happen either. The sword agreeing with me distracted me for a second, and suddenly the woman's sword was sweeping toward me. I stepped forward to dodge it, but now I was close to the woman. She reversed her swing and with the hilt of her sword she smashed me across the face.

I cursed and stumbled backward, blue-grey eyes darkening. "Stop it," I growled, my voice quiet and my spiritual pressure rising. "Now."

"You can't tell me what to do!" the woman hissed, launching herself at me again. Before I had to figure out something to do, however, someone was in front of me.

"But I can," a cold voice said, as metal rang against metal. It was the captain.

"C-captain Ichimaru!" the woman gasped, immediately her sword going back to its regular form as she stepped back. "This girl is a traitor!" she yelled, regaining her composure and pointing at me. "She killed sixteen soul reapers fifty years ago and-"

"-I know," Ichimaru said in a terrifyingly quiet voice. "And I am tired of putting up with you, seventh seat Makiro. Get out of here. Now. I am removing you from my division. Go outside and wait for Lieutenant Kira to escort you to the head captain."

"You can't do that, captain!" the woman begged, tears in her eyes. "Surely you have to understand! That slut killed my-"

"-I don't care what you say. This girl is my third seat and she has done nothing to you. Get. Out. I will not say it again." Ichimaru had his sword drawn and it was pointing at Makiro. She noticed it too and glanced at me one more time before turning and walking away.

Sighing, I wiped blood from my face. My nose was bleeding from where she hit me. "Okay, guys," I called, my hand pressed to my face. "If we could get back to what we were doing I'll come around and observe."

For some reason the squad listened to me. Probably because Captain Ichimaru was looming over them. As they got back to their business, he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he pulled me to the dining hall. He didn't answer, only let go of me and went to the refrigerator, where he got out a bit of ice, then found two rags from a drawer.

"Sit," he ordered, and I did sit on a bench. He sat in front of me and wiped the blood from my face, making me wince in pain. Then he pressed the ice against my nose, surveying me closely. "You didn't fight back," he finally said.

"I didn't," I conceded.

"Why not? You could have easily overwhelmed her with your spiritual pressure alone. I'm sure you're more than capable of beating her at a fight." He wasn't truly asking, I knew. He already had his answer.

"I didn't to hurt her." It was an admittance that I didn't mind telling him. "She's a soul reaper. It would be wrong-"

"-She tried to break your face," he reminded me coldly.

I met his gaze and found his blue eyes were open and clear. How could I tell him that I was afraid to lose control and really hurt her, or even kill her? Instead I just shrugged, looking down at the table. "Doesn't mean I should do the same to her."

Ichimaru let out a huff. "So that's your answer to everything?" he demanded. "You're going to back away from a fight? You know that you're going to get a lot of angry people trying to fight you around here. And Makiro will try you again. You can't keep running from fights. What happened to the girl who charged into any fight with reckless abandon and had no care for others? The girl who had a great amount of power, even if she couldn't control it?"

"You didn't hear?" I answered slowly. "She killed sixteen soul reapers, twenty humans, and was exiled to the world of the living-"

Ichimaru scoffed and pressed harder on my face. I hissed in pain, glaring at him. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Sasha-chan," he said, and I saw the vestiges of his constant humor returning. "It's pathetic. And you should've kicked Makiro's ass. I don't need a third seat who gets walked all over by everyone. So stop it." He stood up, giving me the rag with ice in it. "At least I didn't have to go to the effort of making a sign to hang around your neck," he joked, lifting a hand in farewell. "Have a good day, Sasha-chan," he chirped, leaving the room.

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Yeah, so this is chapter three? Gin is a bit OC, and of course Rangiku is going to play a big part in this! But will she be with Sasha or against her? And what a nasty seventh seat. She was mean and had an ugly sword. Reviews make me feel all fuzzy inside, my friends.


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